TRANSCRIPT: Sharai Bohannon has been writing forever, she says. She is very much a millennial writing for women and non-binary folx. Usually dark comedies are her thing and it shows no matter what genre she writes for. This short play is “The Inevitable”.
In the blackout alarms go off as we hear something ship hitting turbulence. MOE continues screaming as lights begin to flicker. ADELE looks out in disbelief.
ADELE Stop screaming. There’s no point…
ADELE begins turning off alarms as sparks fly out of bits of the ship. MOE keeps screaming. ADELE grabs MOE and shakes them.
ADELE (cont.) Shut up!
MOE I don’t want to die! I don’t want to-
ADELE I know. I don’t either but it’s-
MOE Maybe we won’t. Maybe…maybe we’ll be fine. Maybe-
MOE No one’s ever gone into one so how do we know? How can we really be sure?
ADELE Because we’re scientists. (Helping MOE sit down.) Let’s just focus on our breathing and-
MOE I don’t want to focus on my fucking breathing. I want to get off of this ship! I want to live. (Pause.) You told them it was a faulty-
ADELE I did but that’s not going to help us right now. Moe-
MOE If they had listened to you. If they had just listened to you we wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t-
MOE begins to struggle with their breathing. ADELE changes a setting on their suit. They sit in silence. MOE Do you believe in God? Do you think there’s…there’s some higher being that’s watching all of this? Do you think-
ADELE I don’t think I want to spend my last two minutes thinking about something that I never thought about.
MOE But what do we have to lose?
ADELE No buts, Moe. This is happening. The least we can do is take it all in. We’re about to make history as the first idiots to die in a black hole. It’s not how I wanted to leave my mark but it’s still pretty damn special.
MOE tentatively nods before beginning to cry. MOE sobs and ADELE lets them. ADELE stands and walks over to look out into her impending death.
ADELE (Cont.) (Trying to be heard over MOE’s sobs.) It’s actually quite pretty. I wonder if we’ll be able to hear the sound…you know the sound it makes when…I always wondered what it would sound like up here (ADELE begins to get choked up) it would be nice to hear something no one else has heard. It would be nice to have that before…
ADELE begins cry softly. She punches the console before struggling to breathe. She adjusts a setting on her suit and then returns to breathing regularly.
ADELE (Cont.) (Laughing.) I adjusted that like it even matters. (Laughing.) Like breathing for another sixty seconds really makes that much of a difference. Isn’t that the stupidest thing? (Laughing.)
MOE’s sobs slow down as they take in ADELE. MOE watches her laugh before joining in. MOE and ADELE laugh at each other until they can’t breathe and then simultaneously change a setting on their respective suits. They look at each other and break into another fit of laughter.
MOE (As the laughter dies.) This sucks.
ADELE Black holes tend to do that.
MOE stands up and walks over to ADELE. The two of them stand there looking out into the inevitable.
MOE I’m sorry I didn’t back you up when they wouldn’t listen. You were right about the-
ADELE It’s doesn’t matter anymore. They’ll find out I’m right in about thirty seconds.
MOE But I’m still sorry.
ADELE You’re forgiven.
MOE reaches for ADELE’s hand. They hold hands as they look until they can’t look anymore. They both close their eyes as they squeeze each other’s hands. They both reach to adjust the settings on their suits but MOE pauses. ADELE notices and turns to MOE.
MOE What’s another twenty seconds?
ADELE nods. ADELE and MOE turn out as they hurl towards their fate.
Rachel Granda Gluski is a Chicago based voice actor and movement professional. She currently enjoys working with radio play companies Starlight Radio Dreams and Locked into Vacancy Entertainment. She also performs every summer with the Bristol Renaissance faire. When she’s not performing she enjoys being a huge nerd and hanging out with her cats.
Sandra Howard is an actor, combatant and generally incredible human being. She’s done several shows with Cave Painting Theater and you can find her at the Bristol Renaissance Faire this summer. She’s also one of the most wonderful people I know. And I’m on the record with that now.